Stinky People
February 2003
Early in my career, I worked in one industrial setting where employees numbered over 10,000. Amidst that huge number of faceless people, one guy was known throughout. He was always referred to as Mr. Stinky. Or, alternately, That Guy, accompanied by a grimace and choked throat. He suffered from such appalling body odor that you could smell him from a couple of halls away. It was a choking miasma of odor. If Mr. Stinky was working in the building, you scuttled about trying to get to your office without crossing his path or where he’d been. If he was working in or just outside your office, you had urgent business elsewhere. For a few hours. It was that bad.
In the intervening years, I have had to talk with, counsel and/or take performance action on many such issues, and it is never easy. Whether it is body odor, halitosis, or gas, these conversations are always very difficult. However, some of these conditions or attributes can be symptoms of medical conditions of varying severity and seriousness, which could or should be treated. For that reason alone, it is worth talking about.
Other areas of difficulty include inappropriate clothing or language, horribly strong aftershave or perfume, objectionable materials at work or on the Web. The list goes on and on. These are all difficult to talk about. However, the person is being negatively affected by these behaviors or habits, and they need to know about it.
What do you do when someone you work with suffers from such ‘unmentionable’ issues? The city of Murfreesboro, Tennessee has come up with a city-wide policy in response to another Mr. Stinky. This policy requires all city employees to smell nice when reporting for work. Apparently Mr. Stinky in Murfreesboro had been counseled repeatedly about his odor, which was the result of poor hygiene rather than a medical condition. The AP reports that the definition of body odor was left intentionally vague. City Councilman Toby Gilley said the standard would be the same one a U.S. Supreme Court justice used to identify pornography. "We'll know it when we see it," Gilley said. "We'll know it when we smell it."
One popular way of dealing with these kinds of issues is to leave breath mints or deodorant or some other hint on their desk for them to find. This keeps you from having to address the issue directly. “Hey, your breath smells like a dog’s who got into something really special,” is not an easy thing to say to your co-worker or boss. Much simpler to leave them a silent message and hope for the best.
I don’t recommend this approach. Anyone coming in to such bombs will get more than a little jumpy and defensive. Wouldn’t you? They will also be looking for whoever left the item, perhaps with revenge in their hearts. At best, they may be crushed, at worst, they may come in with an Uzi the next day. This approach does not usually leave people in an accepting mood, nor does it build office trust. Office trust is very important, and shouldn’t be undermined in this fashion. This approach is tempting because it’s easy, but the risks are higher and the payoff is limited. Sometimes it works, but not often.
One of my first jobs was with a woman who had clinical halitosis. She was aware of it, and mortified by it. She had seen a multitude of doctors, but nothing could be done. (There is a lot more research out there now, and new treatments.) I learned from her how hard it was for her to be around co-workers. She always held her hand over her mouth when speaking, and worked to minimize the impact of her situation. After that, I have perhaps erred on the side of tact when addressing these issues. However, people need to know. It could be hurting their careers, or their health, not to.
I think the best way to tell someone is clearly and directly, with tact and understanding. Try not to make a big deal about it. The trick is to truly be telling them for the right reason: “This is/might be getting in the way of your success – and that I don’t want that to happen to you.” If you genuinely feel that way, it shouldn’t be hard to find the words. (Of course I’m lying. It can still be brutally difficult, but it will make it a little easier if your main motivation is really to help. This is something you are doing for them that everyone else is afraid to. Remember that Ms. Maven awards bonus points in the universe for doing the right thing…)
Humor can also diffuse the situation. This is tricky – it’s kind of like starting a speech with a joke. If you’re not naturally gifted in this area, don’t even try here. If you are naturally gifted with the ability to lighten difficult situations with appropriate humor, then you don’t need this column and you should remember to thank your lucky stars. Regularly.
If you work in a group that regularly razzes the heck out of each other, it may be okay to make it part of the regular teasing. If you can, it usually indicates a very strong camaraderie and trust in the workgroup. More often, the things most serious are never talked about, no matter how much bantering there is.
Any way you look at it, or smell it, you must deal with these and other difficult issues with your staff. Be honest, direct, and matter-of-fact. Do some research – find out some potential causes or new kinds of treatment, if that seems appropriate. Let them know how the situation is affecting their work relationships or career. Then let them know you will do everything you can to help. But they’ve got to follow through and cleanse themselves, or stop bathing in perfume, etc. It’s just good business to be clean, smell good, and to look professional.
Ramona Abbott helps businesses maximize their efficiency, effectiveness and group dynamics. She utilizes proven techniques that are fun and affordable to help you improve your workplace in a variety of ways. She welcomes inquiries at 360-398-2606 or ramona@EssentiallyProfessional.com
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